Survival 101

So you've decided that you want to be an exchange student. That alone took a lot of courage, but now comes the hard part, actually leaving your home country to go live with complete strangers who speak a language that you don't understand. I'm here to try to help you with that. For anyone who doesn't know, I've been living in Italy for the past 8 months with AFS/Intercultura. Some of these topics might only affect those who want to study in Italy, but I'm going to try to keep this as relatable as possible for the other countries as well.

1. What the hell did I decide to do?

Go on, freak out a bit. It's not everyday that you decide to leave your entire life behind. While researching the countries I wanted to study in, I got a little carried away. "How cool would it be to study in Egypt? I could see the pyramids! Or how about Ghana, I could volunteer and learn a culture that is completely different from mine. Or maybe Japan. Or New Zealand. Or Brazil. Or or or..." It's easy to get caught up in the idea of a country, but you need to think wisely. Would you like living in the desert? Would you be able to stand the countless vaccines you need to take to study in Africa? Would you be able to afford living in Japan? There are countless factors that you need to think of while choosing a host country. I tried to narrow down my countries by listing them into categories such as: quality of life, food, language, climate, etc. If you like the luxurious things in life, maybe you shouldn't go to a third world country. I thought about going to Indonesia for a while, before thinking that maybe I wouldn't be able to stomach the food (Indonesia may have very good food, but I wanted to have a diet similar to my own.) Will the language you are learning help you later in life? How difficult is it to learn? Have you studied it before? And lastly climate. If you don't like the cold, you probably shouldn't pick a Nordic country. However all of these are just suggestions, and if you have your heart set on a country for some other reason, by all means go. It's your life after all.

 Once you've picked your country is when things get hard. As soon as I bought my luggage it hit me, "I'm leaving." This phase is both exciting and nerve racking. You're about to start a new chapter of your life, meet new people, and broaden your knowledge of the world around you. I honestly was counting down the days until I left, but the closer I got to the date of my departure, the more nervous and anxious I got. THIS IS NORMAL! Don't think that because you're nervous you'll miss home that you shouldn't go. I was an emotional wreck the week before I left. Just driving around my town made me cry. But it's just nerves. You're allowed to be nervous! You're allowed to question why you made this decision. But what you're not allowed to do is back out due to fear. To be an exchange student you need to be strong. You need to always think positively.

2. What do I pack?

First things first, how many bags can you bring? With AFS I was allowed one checkable item of luggage that could not weigh more than 40 lbs. and a carry on. Others also brought an additional bag, or other items that they would pay for. Because we were such a big group at JFK airport (over 100 people going to Spain, France, and Italy) the airport checked some of our additional bags for free, but it's best to play it safe if you don't want to pay extra. Check with your airline and with your program because luggage weight and amount can vary.

It's very hard to fit your life into a 40 lbs. suitcase, but somehow I managed to do it. Obviously there are still some things that I wanted to bring, but I don't know if I would have used them. To help me keep track of things I made a list. Once I had bought something that I needed on my list I would put a check mark next to it and once it was packed away I would cross it out. Some things to think about while packing are: How is the climate in my host country? How often will I really use this? Can I use this with more than one outfit? I packed almost entirely light clothing because I was going to live in Southern Italy next to the beach but around November I got a news flash, it gets cold here too. Always pack some warmer clothing. Also, in Italy, you can't wear shorts to school so jeans are your new best friend, even when you're dying of heat exhaustion. I packed about 8 pairs if shorts, and I've used maybe one pair. Also if you're going to Italy you will need to have house shoes/slippers. And no, socks do not count. I am the bane of my host mothers existence because I wear socks around the house, so lately with the temperature rising I've been wearing my flip flops. For girls I would say bring at least one dress and or nice outfit. 18th birthday party's are a big thing in Italy, and they're not very casual. I would personally bring more than one dress and also a skirt. To all of my fellow Starbucks loving white girls out there, leave your Uggs and yoga pants behind. I wore my yoga pants in my own house and people told me how ugly they were. Leggings are acceptable, but try to stick to black. Jewelry wise I would bring a watch, a pair or two of earrings, and a bracelet or necklace. This isn't fashion week, so you can leave your Tiffanys at home. Also try to leave room in your luggage because you're obviously going to want to buy some stuff while you're abroad!

3. How will I learn the language? 

This one varies from person to person   With AFS we were able to use Rosetta Stone for free. I used it for over 40 hours and do you know what I learned? Nothing. Once I landed it Italy I forgot everything that it had ever tought me. I pretty much arrived in Italy being able to say ciao and pizza. It took me about 5 months to understand and 6 months to speak. I'm still far from fluent but I'm improving every day. You need to be determined to learn a new language. I also have Italian lessons twice a week. I was told by a volunteer that it is very hard for English speakers to a learn a different language, and that's because almost everyone speaks English. You can go through your entire year abroad without learning the language. I would highly recommend not doing that.

4. What if I don't like the family? Or what if the family doesn't like me?

Change. It's as simple as that. If you've given it your best shot and after a month things still aren't ok, it's probably best to part ways. Don't do what I did. I'll talk more about that when I'm back in my own country. I'm not saying to change your family after one little disagreement. But if things are always bad and you don't feel comfortable with the family, switch. And if at one point you want to go home, I would advise you to at least try switching families before leaving the country.

5. School???

If your school is anything like mine, It. Will. Suck. I do absolutely nothing, all day, 6 days a week. (Oh yes, we go to school on Saturdays here in Italy) There are about 3 teachers who have even tried to teach me anything. The others just pretend like I don't exist. Not all schools are like this, there are some exchange students who works their butts off at school. I take my time in school and try to study the language. The only plus side to school is that you find all of your friends, leading to the next topic...

6. What if I have no friends?!

This isn't a very big problem in Southern Italy, but there are some countries where the exchange students are all out ignored. In my school in the US, it's like most exchange students don't even exist. You will need to go out of you way to be social. Join a club. Play a sport. Go out with your host sibling. I'm an introvert, and that's very hard for me, but it's something that you have to do to succeed in your exchange.

7. What is love? Baby don't hurt me..

Love is a strange thing. When abroad you will meet certain people that will make your heart race and make you have butterflies in your stomach. I have not found a boyfriend while abroad, but my best friend from Finland has. Take all of the normal problems of a relationship, multiply that with the language barrier, and then add the fact that there is a literal countdown for the amount of time you spend together, and it will equal up to a nearly impossible relationship. But not all are destined to fail. There are some people who go on to marry their significant others from exchange. Sometimes love comes in unexpected places, which turns into the question. What do I do if I fall in love with my host sibling? The first thing you will do is panic, but after that you need to think reasonably. Do they treat me like a sibling or is there more emotion? What would the parents think? This is the only time
that I would think you should not pursue a relationship while on exchange.

And now for some helpful tips.

Always be thankful and show thanks.
Follow the rules of your family and of your organization.
Try new things.
Talk to you family or volunteers if you have a problem.
Always be kind, even when others aren't.
Look on the bright side.
Keep calm, even when it seems impossible.
Be independent.
Trust yourself, and do what you think is morally right.
Try as hard as you can to learn the language.
You're going to expierience a new culture, not to sight see.
Open your eyes, mind, and heart to your new culture.

There's still so much more to say, and I'll probably be adding things in the next couple of days. If anyone has any questions or has anything to add, just comment or message me on Facebook!